Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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