Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
