i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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