Your tits are I can't wait for
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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