I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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