remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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