Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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