When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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