I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
