That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
