he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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