you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
