So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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