I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
