is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
