take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
last night I used snow as a chaser
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
