Who did Billy Mays play for?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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