please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
