what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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