No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
