Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
