i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
