Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
