I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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