my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
