I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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