on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
