I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
