Your face is a jimmy john
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
