very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can text with my tongue
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
