those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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