I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
