What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
