I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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