My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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