Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
