Your tits are I can't wait for
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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