# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
