Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
