My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
