I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
