i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he was CRYING into my vagina
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
