you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
