Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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