Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
