I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
