defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
