You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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