One girl and one boy is just not enough.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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