Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
