Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have fence marks all over my body
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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