He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
